You want me to what?

Halloween is not an 'Autism-friendly' holiday. There's just no way to make it that way.
The dialog that has inevitably taken place every year between my oldest son and I goes like this. At least - this is how I believe he hears my directions and requests and how I understand his responses.

• Put on some really annoying clothes - School clothes are a big enough battle for me. There's no way I'm dealing with a costume.
• Wear a hat or a mask, it's part of the costume - No way! Are you crazy? I can't stand anyone touching my head for any reason (hygiene, haircuts, weather protection) There's no way I'm wearing a dumb hat to get candy I don't like.
• Go to every stranger's house you can find and knock on the door, but don't go in - Why again?
• When they answer, scream "Trick or Treat!!" - Why can't I just tell them to give me candy?
• Say these "trick or treat' words which imply that you are requesting a choice that you don't actually have a say in -  Why can't you just ask for candy and be clear? 
• Don't tease the dog (if there is one) - How is this not the most fun again? You should try it. It's funny!
• Don't ask them what type of garage door opener they have - Again, I don't care about the candy. What I'm interested in is data, "The brand, you idiot, be specific!" 
• Don't ask them about their computer - What?!?! Are you speaking English?
• Don't tell them their clock is off or ask if you can wait at their door for 73 seconds because you want to hear theirs chime at the hour. (The other kids behind you waiting for candy are not going to bother you.) Of course, you've noticed it! - But I really don't care about the candy, the clock is MUCH more interesting. Even more so than the resident.
• Then you get candy - which isn't they kind you like. And yes, you have to take it even though you hate anything with artificial coloring in it - NO!
• Don't be scared, all the decorations are fake - How do you know? There's a possibility that they might not be.

And we haven't even gotten to the parts about why carving pumpkins is disgusting and or my pleas that he go with his younger brother simply to accompany him.
We haven't even gotten out the door and it's a battle.

Nope - Halloween is not for my son. Unfortunately, there are some holidays and celebrations that simply don't mesh with the symptoms and bumper guards required when you live with another who is on the ASD Spectrum. So, it's a choice. What and or how much do I have to force him to try to learn to do?

And you know what I keep coming back to? People with ASDs are not the only inhabitants of this earth who choose to participate in the holidays they enjoy and to avoid those they don't. I have known perfectly normal individuals that simply don't like Thanksgiving - so they go on vacation every year to a place where it's not celebrated. Easy enough. Why does it have to be any more remarkable that my son with ASD makes a similar choice?
Sometimes I believe we spend so much time and get so entirely enveloped in attempting to force these kids and others with ASDs into our conventional societal mold that we forget that they can and should be allowed to enjoy cultivating the individuality inherent in themselves. We forget that nobody is mainstream while we try in vain to make them be just that. So what if he doesn't particularly like or understand Halloween? I don't particularly understand why we celebrate the annihilation of an entire indigenous population (Thanksgiving). But, I've been trained to celebrate it anyway and every year, I'm as conflicted as the year before and I behave in this silly superficial manner and try to concentrate on the fact that I am with my family instead.

Wouldn't it be nice if people actually stood behind their beliefs and had the guts to say, "I don't like this"?

Again, my son is the one teaching me - not the other way around.

So simple.