Job Hunting in Suburbia

Why is it almost everyone deeply dislikes 'The Job Hunt'?

Has anyone ever said, "Boy, I really love looking for a job! I wish I could do that every day!"?

Nope. It just doesn't happen. Do we all detest an opportunity to find something better - a stronger sense of value, more cash, new responsibilities or learning a new skill set or perspective on an already honed skill set? It really shouldn't be that daunting, but it is. It always is.

It is - because we cannot separate ourselves, our ego, from the business contract that is truly the foundation of the quest. Even for the most rational and mature, compartmentalizing to this degree is almost impossible. We are emotionally attached to the ideals we possess and the activities that we are good at. Engaging in them brings us joy. This is why we should work - to do what we love and makes us happy. Unfortunately, too many of us work because we have to at a task that falls short of defining us. Yet, we allow to.
What if what makes us happy is 'income.' Would we do anything to have that? I think the answer to that for some people is a resounding, "Yes." I wish that were the case for me. I've always been way too eager to tie my own self worth to the reactions of hiring managers. In fact, I enable them and assist them in it. The funny part is that it used to be easier - and harder - when I was younger.

Do you remember being 17 or 18 years old and looking for your first paying job? Something other than mowing yards, helping out at church or babysitting? We didn't have too many expectations. At least I didn't. All I wanted was a task that I could do and some money in return for completing that task. In return, I would do sufficient work and be reliable. -Not asking too much, right?

This summer my oldest son is home from college and looking for a job. I am a spectator to his persistence as well as his vulnerability - both in full view. He is young, dependable, capable and just wants someone to believe he can do a job that has worth.
For weeks he has been filling out applications, and calling managers and requesting interviews. While he is at school, he works for the Campus Police Department a few hours a week.He has a job he can do, has clear guidelines and earns him a small amount of spending money.

A summer job is different. He'll need to work a lot to save up enough money for his next school year. He won't have the security of a campus job. He will be at the mercy of hiring managers who don't know him and have literally thousands of applicants to choose from. It's not an easy task.

He is relentless, I'll give him that. He calls and talks to everyone he can in his effort to find work. He's found a few jobs and worked some, but the jobs haven't lasted for one reason or another. He gets frustrated when he makes a mistake and employers just - let him go abruptly without explaining the seemingly evident error.

Once, after being let go he came to me for some advice. While I tried to take the position of the employer, I'm sure I softened their reaction by a long shot. I had to. He's my son. I'm irrevocably biased, In any case, when I explained why the rules are the rules he said, "Why don't they just tell you that? Why don't they just talk to me like I'm a human with a brain?"
Those questions I couldn't answer for him.

My son is an intelligent young man. He has a heart, a conscience, an ego and feelings - all of which can be damaged buy hurtful, self-centered or poorly thought out words. Just because he has some difficulty expressing himself does not mean that he doesn't have feelings. It means, he has some difficulty expressing them. His is vulnerable just like everyone. In fact, probably more so, because he has established very few emotional mechanisms for protecting himself from the poor manners and lack of verbal impulse control so many seem to display.

I tried to explain that we've all been treated like we are "brainless wonders" at one point or another in our working lives - regardless of any apparent ability or disability. I tried to explain that this poor treatment actually has nothing to do with us and everything to do with whoever is doing the talking.

However, kinder, gentler words from a biased parent don't help much outside the walls of this home. They just don't offer much protection from the elements of 'outside employment.'

I am happy to report that my son did find work for the summer. He was a clerk at a local sporting goods store. He enjoyed his work - or at minimum enjoyed earning the money. He said very little about the people he worked alongside and even less about the work he was asked to complete - other than some derogatory comments about the insipid nature of retail and the shoppers who support it.

In the meantime, he turned 21 last month. It seems incredible to me that he can be so grown up.
He left for school a few weeks ago. He is back to his safe, campus job and his Sophomore year classes. He has chosen a major without my influence and seems happy to be back in the surroundings of his education.
Maybe he has a new-found appreciation and or respect for the task of finishing school and graduating. maybe he's realized that this may provide some buffer against a life of retail employment.

As with all the stages he has grown through. . . One can only hope.