. . . Girls! . . . .

Some days I wish that I had a magic wand so that I could skip by all the unpleasantness life offers and only experience the times that provide joy, bring happiness and leave me feeling fulfilled, cherished and satisfied. If only!

Oddly enough, this is how my son behaves all the time. He always has. He always manages to arrange his life so that this is exactly what he gets. Logically, it makes sense. Why would you want the bad parts if they are at all avoidable? He skips by the part that is essentially unnecessary and unpleasant as if by choice and moves straight to the part where there is potential only for reward. He did it when he started to walk; went directly from sitting on the floor to walking all over the house on his own. He didn't spend time stumbling, falling, bruised or clumsy. And he's behaving in the same manner again - now.

The other night he came in my room to ask me if I would be available one night next week. Tentatively, I said that I would be. Not wanting to push too much for what I instinctively recognized and the potentially excruciatingly embarrassing teenage divulgence of a secret social plan, extremely privileged, highly private and deeply personal information, I waited for the rest of the question (and story) to unfold.
Fundamentally, what he was asking me was if I would be able to give him a ride to a football game. What he was really asking me concerned the finer points of behavior when meeting a girl at a location other than school.
My son has never been one to have friends his own age. Despite that he knows his peers and (I hope) he interacts with them regularly during his day - he has never once invited a friend over or been invited (not that he's told me about anyway) to a friend's house. And now it seems as though he has decided that he's going to move from 'no friends' to 'hopeful girlfriend' with no in between.

When the day came, I took him to the stadium where the game was being played and dropped him off with very little discussion other than to ask him to text me when he was ready to come home and how to find me amid the streams of school buses and other parents picking up kids. I was worried, but tried very hard to trust in his judgment and his own self-confidence.
Historically, being left somewhere in the dark and without concrete verification that he had a way home and alone would leave him practically paralyzed with panic. In short, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the fun of the outing because he would be so worried about how he's going to fare without all his familiar structures.

None of that happened.

He sent me a text when the game was over. I picked him up from a basically abandoned and darkened parking lot where he was patiently waiting - alone. He texted me once and called me twice while I was on my way. Only twice!! Not sixteen . . . . or twenty. For my son, this is tantamount to a tectonic shift in his behavior. I was afraid that something was very wrong. I worried the entire way there that I would find him a stressed out wreck and promising to never go out alone again. Instead, he was calm, relaxed, thirsty and hungry. -All perfectly normal. There was no sweating, no panic, no jitters, no need for constant verification of stability and or trust. I was amazed. I'm still amazed.

I am so proud of him!! He made plans with someone - a friend - and went out on his own.