Cardboard Plastic Reality

Autism is a funny 'thing.'

I don't like that word . . . 'thing.' but in this case, it works. It works because as long as I have lived with Autism, as hard as I have tried to understand it, as much as I have tried to define it, for all my analyzing, researching, reading, learning and discovering . . . I still have no idea what Autism actually is. I don't believe that Autism is a disease. I cannot bring myself to commit to the idea that Autism is a disability, or a disorder, or anything else.

I'm certain I am not alone here in this world of not understanding. Twenty years of reading research papers, listening to podcasts, reading books and now, watching documentaries . . . and we are no closer as a world to understanding how Autism happens. The only piece of the puzzle that I know certainly and without question is that we are still afraid of it.

We are recycling the same arguments that had been presented, represented, tested and dismissed again. Maybe we missed something the first time. Autism is going to be our eternal cold case file - the mystery that we just cannot seem to crack. I believe this because every time we witness some remarkable breakthrough, we are astonished by how close we were to the answer and didn't see it. We were looking everywhere except directly where we stand.

Did you seen the Google Cardboard Plastic April Fool's Day advertisement? It was hilarious, tragic and likely no truer words were ever assigned to a marketing department. The concept is way too close to reality not to give pause. It's sad.

If you watch it you may wonder as I did, "This could be true on so many levels." I hope we haven't missed something so elemental on a far grander scale.

Yes, I understand that clinically, Autism is a disorder. But Autism isn't always a functional disorder. Sometimes, it seems to me as though, Autism is really a functional difference. Sometimes, we (the neuro-typical) are those with the largest deficit to understanding. This means that we are the ones with the disorder. We are the group who lack understanding and struggle to rationalize behavior. Have you ever thought how struggling with a disability feels to one who embodies that situation? I'm certain this there is frustration, but there is likely far more acceptance than we permit.

What if we did . . . permit differences.
What type of place would that be?

A girl can dream, can't she?