The Department of Public Safety

My son waited a while - much longer than his younger brother would have liked - to get his driver's license. He wasn't ready at 16 years old and I didn't push him. He had no intention of joining the chaos on the roads and I didn't really see why he should. The environment is nothing but dangerous. He recognized it at a time when I was already so desensitized that I forgot what it looked like.

In no uncertain terms my son explained that other driver's are erratic, do things without giving notice and generally do not follow the rules all of which makes them dangerous.He is SO right!Why would anyone throw themselves into the midst of that unless they absolutely must?

Well . . . because they must. Because they want money and because they need to join life. . . that's why.

It wasn't until his younger brother was old enough to attend Driver's Training with him that he even considered taking the classes. My son needed at least one familiar person there as a shield from the unknown. Cash was his motivation and family was his foundation.

I cannot tell you how many trips to the Department of Motor Vehicles we made. It seemed like each time we were there, some different bureaucratic barrier emerged that hadn't been announced the time before. He didn't meet the age requirement (by one day) despite that he was well over 16 years old. Or he didn't have a document (that wasn't listed in the requirements). Or the appointment had been cancelled without his consent because he didn't arrive and check in a full hour before his scheduled diving test. Somehow, each setback only increased his distrust of the Department as a whole. 

By the time he finally rescheduled his Road Test he didn't believe that some new and unknown condition would not emerge to get block his way to independence once again.

When we arrived at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stood back and let my son handle his appointment. In fact, I insisted on it. He would have to handle tasks and procedures much worse than this in the future. I though it best if he began his now - when he really wanted something for his effort.

My son's appointment went well. He handled himself well, with confidence and purpose. He handled the officer who took his paperwork politely and with a barrage of questions she was not equipped to answer. He waited alone with the car virtually hours for his road test. Once gone, I prayed for safety and panicked when they returned in just over five minutes.

Walking through the front door of the driving center trying very hard to hold the pride in - he finally smiled. I knew he had done well and that this hurdle, this right of passage had been passed. 

At this point, my son is driving all the time. He enjoys it. He knows when he should and when he has reached his limit. Most important, he loves, soaks in and wallows in the independence and autonomy that being able to drive has brought.